On a trip recently, we passed a sign for a town in Iowa called "Swaledale". I told my friend they should start a brewery there. When she asked why I said so they could brew
Swaledale Pale Ale
Then I thought how awful it would be if that particular brew went bad. You would have
Stale Swaledale Pale Ale
And what if the reason the brew had gone bad was that the U.S. Postal Service had taken too long getting it to its destination? Then you would have
Snail Mail Stale Swaledale Pale Ale
But what if you had a great story about serving it one time only to find out it had gone bad? Then you would have a
Snail Mail Stale Swaledale Pale Ale Tale
And what if a musician heard your story and was inspired to create a boisterous song? Then you would have a
Snail Mail Stale Swaledale Pale Ale Tale Wail
It would be sad if the musician was playing a show and that song didn't go over well, because you would hate to see the
Snail Mail Stale Swaledale Pale Ale Tale Wail Fail
Although it would all be worth it if the musician left music and started a business with trains and train tracks and made a ton of money running the company that would of course be named after the incident that caused him to switch careers, which is to say the company would be called the
Snail Mail Stale Swaledale Pale Ale Tale Wail Fail Rail
Then years later the historic "golden spike" that was the last component of the main line of the main train would be in a museum labeled as the
Snail Mail Stale Swaledale Pale Ale Tale Wail Fail Rail Nail
Feel free to continue this nonsense in the comments if you dare.
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ReplyDeleteA group of pilgrams who searched to retrace the steps of the origins and remnants of the brew that now have become legend, however only to find hidden in sedimentary rock - formed by the compaction of clay, silt or mud - this artifact:
ReplyDeleteSnail Mail Stale Swaledale Pale Ale Tale Wail Fail Rail Nail Shale Grail
However, when the government found out about the unauthorized disruption of the artifact, listed in the Register of Prospective National Historic Landmarks they built a special prison for the pilgrims down on an island off of what used to be Texas, the:
ReplyDeleteSnail Mail Stale Swaledale Pale Ale Tale Wail Fail Rail Nail Shale Grail Jail
Don't forget this -- what happens when the arofementioned ale company sponsors a booze cruise?
ReplyDeleteEveryone goes on the Swaledale Pale Ale Sail.
The now imprisoned pilgrims looked long and wide to find aid for their depressing future life of sharing a cell. After searching many Ivy league schools, they found a very snooty man who had to be begged to open his schedule to help them re-try the case.
ReplyDeleteSnail Mail Stale Swaledale Pale Ale Tale Wail Fail Rail Nail Shale Grail Jail Avail Upscale Yale Male
then,
The attorney couldn't find the courthouse on the date of the trial. He was traveling by train and the conductor slammed on the brakes to avoid an animal on the tracks. After investigators recreated the scene, they were shocked to find the "animal" in question was a small European songbird.
Snail Mail Stale Swaledale Pale Ale Tale Wail Fail Rail Nail Shale Grail Jail Avail Upscale Yale Male Nightengale Derail
Greetings from the mayor of Swaledale, Iowa. Next time you're passing through, stop in for a glass of ale with the mayor. -John Drury
ReplyDelete