Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Time, Time, Time. See What's Become Of Superman

So this occurred to me the other day for no good reason I can discern.

In the first Superman movie starring Christopher Reeve, (Spoiler alert!!) Lois Lane dies. Then Superman flies around the Earth until it is spinning backwards. Time then flows backwards as well and he changes the events that led to his girlfriend's death. When I saw this movie at the age of 6 I accepted this.

However, now, at 36, I realize that even if it were within Superman's powers to reverse the rotation of the Earth, such a reversal would not have the desired effect. Here's my first main point: The flow of time is not linked in any way to the direction of the rotation of the Earth. (Warning: My second main point will not be announced as such. It will sneak up on you like a tiger and pounce.)

So the question becomes: What would happen if the rotation of the Earth were reversed? Chaos. I am not a geophysicist, but I think it is safe to say that there would be scenes of innocent bystanders screaming in terror, running through the steel and glass canyons of Gotham while airborne cars and buses bounced around them, crushing the ones that had been mean, racist, Black, or smoking earlier in the movie.

Conclusion? Superman: Selfish Uber-villian.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Attention Fellow Nerds of Hennepin County: You're Welcome!

Yes, I have a system for us. I have indicated to amazon that I like Star Trek fiction and comics. Amazon makes me aware of all new releases in this area. I then recommend them to my library. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Lately it has worked spectacularly. Check this out:

Star Trek: Year Four
Star Trek: Klingons: Blood Will Tell
Star Trek: The Next Generation: The Space Between

I can personally recommend each of these. And what does it cost us, fellow nerds of Hennepin County? Nothing! Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

A Return To Trivia

So, not really biting on the fake baseball story, eh? Fine. I thought it was a very effective piece of writing, but whatever. You people. Here is a more blatant attempt to generate comments using something much less important than baseball, politics.

Here's my take on Obama's comments regarding people who suffer through economic difficulties taking refuge in guns, religion, "antipathy toward different people" (which I think we're all old and mature enough to call racism), and anti-immigration sentiment:

I totally, totally agree. It was the first thing I've heard him say that I really, really liked. See also Bob Dylan's 1963 thoughts on the matter, which played a role in forming my own.

Ironically, the comments I like so much may be the thing that helps Hillary win Pennsylvania if she whips peoples' minds into a frenzy over their misinterpretation. I would certainly rather have Hillary win because I would love for my daughters to grow up "in a world where" (to borrow a phrase from that movie preview guy) there has been a woman as president of the US. But if Obama wins now I won't feel quite as bad about it because at least Obama has said one meaningful thing I agree with. So these controversial comments are really win-win-win - for Obama, Hillary, and me!

Incidentally, my take on immigration is quite radical. I believe in extremely strong borders. However, I would use them very differently from the way they are currently used. I would control the flow of people based on merit, not place of birth. Let me explain.

If someone was born somewhere else, but comes here willing to work hard and not commit felonies, they can stay here as long as they want to continue to be a contributing member of society. However, if a person who was born here has demonstrated that they are a good for nothing bum who commits one crime after another, that person should be expelled, however important they may be to the Minnesota Vikings' playoff hopes.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

I Can't Believe This!

Check this out:

Baseball's Twins Spend Millions On 2010 Weather Forecast

MINNEAPOLIS – A source in the Minnesota Twins baseball club's front office, who spoke on condition of anonymity, revealed Monday that the Twins have spent approximately 1.7 million dollars on meteorological consultants and weather forecasting equipment in an attempt to avoid a postponement on opening day 2010, the team's first game in its new open air stadium. If the program continues, the cost could go as high as 2.5 million in the two years between now and then.

It was unknown whether the Twins have generated proprietary forecasting software or if they are using known predictors, enhanced by the expertise of their specialists. Neither the names of the meteorologists nor the forecasting equipment being used were made available. The current National Weather Service forecast for Minneapolis in early April, 2010 calls for a 70 percent chance of light snowfall. The National Weather Service does not make predictions for specific days further than six months away.

In 2006 the Twins were able to get legislation approved that puts a .15 percent sales tax on all items purchased in Hennepin County, which includes downtown Minneapolis, where the stadium is being built. According to the club, this tax will not generate enough money to include a roof on the stadium. This has been a subject of considerable ridicule on Twin Cities talk radio and among bloggers. Over 7 inches of snow fell on Minneapolis on March 31, baseball's opening day this year, which the Twins played in the Metrodome, their home since 1982.

Minneapolis Star Tribune meteorologist Paul Douglas said, "The attempt to pinpoint a day in the distant future upon which it will not rain or snow is fascinating, but I don't know why it would be so expensive. They may have something I don't know about, and you can bet I will be giving them a call." Concerns about weather among Twins insiders apparently escalated last season when the Cleveland Indians, who play in an outdoor stadium in a similar climate, were forced to play several home games at Miller Park in Milwaukee, which has a retractable roof.

Unbelievable!! And yet, they can't find the money to actually just sign actual ballplayers like Johann Santana or Torii Hunter! Although Carlos Gomez clearly outplayed Hunter yesterday and I'm excited about going to the game tonight. That will be sweet. Booooof!