That Dude Deserves A Medal

So let's say there's this dude and he's been married about seven years or so, right? Right about the time the proverbial itch may be kicking in. And let's say this dude is in a rock band and that they're playing like 250 miles away from home. Then let's say both nights were totally dead until the last two sets of the second night, when the dance floor explodes. With me so far?

So then there show up these two women with no wedding rings on their hands let's say. Before the last set they start getting all up in the dude's space, rubbing his back and telling him he should smile more, loosen up, have fun, quit looking at his watch onstage, etc. Right? Are you picking up the vibe I'm trying to convey? It's not that hard.

So during the final set, when the dude knows he has pretty much guaranteed access to his own private hotel room that night should he so desire, these two women are staring at him, pointing at him when he smiles, and dancing with each other in a suggestive way. And let me note that these women are not skanky or unattractive. They look good is what I'm saying. Sweet even.

So end of set and this dude is sitting on the edge of the stage waiting to get paid, having loaded his stuff and that of his band into the truck. One of these women comes and sits right next to him, all touching her leg to his and so forth talking about how she often tries to help her friend get hooked up. That doesn't seem like it would be that hard, thinks the dude, but the dude doesn't say that because that might be suggestive. Then the cute friend herself comes and sits right behind the dude and is all making contact with his back and so forth. So what does that dude do?

That dude, with inspiration from the John Travolta/Vincent Vega speech into the bathroom mirror after the Jackrabbit Slim's dance contest, politely gets up and says "See you, uh...later" and walks out the door and drives away. Let me explain that that dude is not some shrinking violet who is afraid of the ladies. No, he is no stranger to such things and can vividly imagine what, if the vibe he is getting is right on, these two women want. See what happened here? See what I'm getting at?

That dude shrugs it off and drives straight home, through the night, to his wife and kids. And guess what? That dude deserves a medal, a cookie, and a day named after him. Damn.