Modern Things. Bah!

I recently watched this video.

It's fine, right? No problem. It does the job it's supposed to do, which is keep a baby's attention and teach them some signs. For me personally, though, after about as many seconds as I am years old, I started trying to figure out whether the sound of the waves synced up with the actual waves because it doesn't seem like that pristine audio could possibly have been recorded on a windy beach. The rigid, repetitive, perfect sameness of the whole thing started driving me nuts. See what I mean?

Now I'm no audio engineer, but I am pretty sure she's lip syncing. She's doing it really well, which made me think there was probably a click track playing over speakers with the vocal when they shot the video at the beach. So what a baby is actually watching is a person lip syncing to a click track, probably some keyboards, and the vocal, all pre-recorded. An impossible illusion.

Later on, in post-production, my guess is they took out the sounds of everything except the vocal. Then they added in some quiet background waves. Well, fine, we just want the best end product, right? Just using modern tools. Nothing wrong with that, right?

Except that everything new is like this now. Everything is this digitally enhanced illusion of perfection. Long before this particular video was even over, I started thinking what it would look like if it had been taped for Sesame Street in 1974.

Susan's hair would be blowing around, her pitch would be wavering. She might crack up a little bit. You would hear the actual waves as they broke. She would be singing loud to be heard over the wind and those waves. It would be a real, one-of-a-kind, human performance. Factors beyond the control of the producers would have an impact on the final product. Watching her, you would think it was something you could do yourself. You would be right.

But back to 2013 (sigh). Every professional piece of video and audio that young people watch and hear now has this layer of digital illusion built in. They grow up in an acid bath of impossible, inhuman, auto-tuned perfection. And anything that hasn't been perfected by auto-tune is ridiculed. You're Star Wars Kid. You're William Hung. Ha Ha!

I wonder what cumulative impact this has on younger, more impressionable people than myself. Might they think, "Oh, I could never sing like that."? Because if they did think that, they would be right. But what if they stop trying?

Culture Roundup

Well, if you like movies at all and live within forty miles of Minneapolis, you owe it to yourself to go to The Heights Theater at least once in your life. I went recently on sort of a spur of the moment thing and saw Phantom Lady from 1944. It was wonderful. There was live organ music for about a half hour beforehand. Magical!

Here's a tip: order the Heights Special – I didn't look carefully and got a large popcorn and a small pop – for a quarter more than I would have paid for a large popcorn and a large pop. To their credit, they did not point this out to me and try to change my order. They let me be dumb.

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If you are a Paul McCartney fan you should check out "The McCartney Years" 3 DVD set. Put disc one on your netflix if nothing else. Some of the commentary is hilarious and/or poignant. At one point McCartney (2007) is watching McCartney (1980) walking in front of an arctic set and there's a polar bear. "I think there was a trench in between the bear and me…oh, yes. There's the water erupting from the trench." Maybe it's in his delivery. He's just like, "Oh, yeah, that time I was walking around next to a polar bear and of course water erupted from the trench between us. Naturally." So casual.

At one point in the "Silly Love Songs" video McCartney (1976) is goofing for the camera, walking with Linda, together looking like the coolest rock stars the world has ever produced, and Linda points her thumb at him and looks at the camera with a good-natured "long suffering" look. Paul (2007) says on the commentary, "Yes, he's a nutter, Linda."

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On a related note, I was recently asked, "Could Linda McCartney really sing?" I answered somewhat less than unequivocally, but I've thought about it a lot since then. Yes. The answer is an unqualified yes. It's a shame that that awful clip of her isolated backing vocal from a 1989 live version of "Hey, Jude" got so much airplay. It was simply an artifact of poor engineering, rather like the 2004 "Dean Scream" that may or may not have given us an extra four deadly years of Dubya.

Nearly three decades of beautiful harmonies (often along with Denny Laine) and the very good compilation of her own compositions and lead vocals on the album Wide Prairie are far more representative of an artist who is sometimes unfairly maligned. Pick up any Wings album and you'll realize that the sound of the vocals – Paul, Linda, and Denny – really makes the music soar. (I recommend Band on the Run for first timers and London Town or Venus And Mars if you've already got BotR.)

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In books, I must endorse Revolutionary Road. I love it. It is most reminiscent of John Updike's Rabbit books, but set in 1955 and with a deadly dry wit. Some people might say it is depressing but I say life is often depressing and this book is the accurate depiction of exactly how and why. It helps to have Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet in my mind as the leads and I plan to move the movie to the top of my netflix now. The characters were so very real and heartbreaking. Terrific. Get on the waiting list for it NOW at your local library as it is very popular.

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Final note: If you haven't seen any of the "Drunk History" episodes at funnyordie.com you should really check them out. I laughed so hard I couldn't speak. Partly because I know I couldn't do any better at reciting those things even if I were sober.

Culture Roundup

First and foremost, I want to recommend to anyone who is a parent or anyone who is not that you immediately listen to (and/or purchase) the song "You're Gonna Miss This" from Greatest Hits II by Trace Adkins. A pompous band like Rage Against The Machine may kid themselves that they are "making a difference" while they line their pockets and those of the corporations they work for. Trace Adkins affects no such pretensions, but with this song he accomplishes what a thousand Rages don't. He makes people feel something that is true at the core of their existence. This song influences my behavior and makes me love my kids more. This song makes me appreciate my life for what it actually is - precious and fleeting. Cheers. Song of the Decade, I think.

Books? Yeah, I read. Book of Lies was good if you like Superman and his creator or thriller conspiracy novels. If, like me, you like both, the novel is a home run. I wish the chapters (and maybe the whole book) had been a little longer, but then I'm a Stephen King fan, too.

Also, if you haven't read David Sedaris, you probably should at least try him out. Should you start with his latest effort, When You Are Engulfed In Flames? Maybe, although I might recommend starting with his first book Barrel Fever. Or just get all the info you need and decide yourself.

So I like that one song, but an entire album of music? Yeah, I do that now and again. I have reached some kind of critical mass with the album Tropical Brainstorm by the late and much missed Kirsty MacColl. I've heard it enough times that I am hearing deeper, other things happening in the words and the music but not yet so many times it's like only hearing a memory of the meaning of the thing. Some stuff I didn't necessarily like at first I now maybe get it a little more. Good Lord, in checking out amazon it would appear that that album has gone out of print! Maybe it will be reissued like the rest of her albums were recently. It's a good time for obsessive completists like myself to get interested in Kirsty MacColl. Anyway, you should check that out and everything else I say.

Coda:
Interesting thing that happens: Celebrities generally start young and make every effort to look young for a long, long time. Then they suddenly quit trying. For Bill Murray, it was his daring performance in the major motion picture Rushmore. For Kevin Costner it's Kevin Costner's celebrity playlist at iTunes and the accompanying publicity photo. Has he aged ten years since Swing Vote? Looks like it. (He also seems to think that Elvis wrote his own songs.) Interesting. Or not.

Quiz, Toys, Culture

The first show of Great Uncle Helmer participating in the Toys For Tots drive is THIS SATURDAY! You will want to go and bring $10 or a new toy (no gift wrap) and get the new CD, which I just listened to and which is quite good, maybe the best in the four years this program has been going on. Go! GO! GOOOO!

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I remember back before I was married and had children. I was talking to my parents and was asking them about culture in the 1970s. I happen to think that 1964-1973 was the single greatest ten year period in music history. (Joni, Marvin, Beatles, Zeppelin, Elton, Big Star, on and on) I remember them saying they were just married, had two small children, and did not necessarily follow closely what was going on in the culture. They have about 50 LPs from roughly that period of time, but don't have any real concrete memories of what the public perception of, say, Elvis was at that time. This seemed strange to me once. (Of course I've read about it in books. Duh. I just wondered what it was like to be there.)

Now I have the young children and I realize the same thing is happening to me. I stay a little more connected, perhaps, but mostly through new releases by people I already liked when I was younger and/or single. For example, I listened to Joni Mitchell's brilliant Shine three times today. The thing that really drove home my disassociation from popular culture is that I don't have time for Twilight.

Normally I would probably at least read the first book. But I heard that the author is maybe now refusing to release the seventh book because some of it leaked or something. And the stars of the movie are blah to me. I saw a picture of the girl with a serious, pouty look on her face, with the caption "Sometimes I think about being with you forever." That seemed like an extremely unappealing future.

An allegedly sexy pop culture phenomenon about vampires and I am just going to completely give it a miss? Yep. Sorry Twilight, you'll have to limp along without me. Now I'm going to go read my Angel: After The Fall and Buffy: Season Eight comic books.

Culture Roundup

Here are some things I have really been loving lately:

A) The Man in The Blizzard, a novel by Bart Schneider, offers one man's story of the events surrounding the recent Convention in our fair Cities. A tough private eye gets more than he baragined for when trouble in the form of a beautiful dame walks into his office. But it's much more than that, of course.

I love it when the characters drive down Lyndale towards Lake, stop by Vera's, etc. and I can picture it exactly. It was a little taste of what it must be like for residents of New York City when they read, oh I don't know...every other freaking novel that's ever existed.

B) I heard the song "Copacabana" somewhere the other day. That is an outsanding, perfectly composed marriage of words and music. I love the tumbling, fricative lines. I love the mysterious, suggestive mood. I love that it's an entire story that spans decades. The song has everything a person could want in a song. I bought Ultimate Manilow very inexpensively, used at amazon.

C) It wasn't lately, but I also love the book Infinite Jest so much I have read it twice. Some parts of it I just pick up and read once in a while, especially the filmography of James O. Incandenza, a brilliant piece of faux archivism that shines a satirical light on my actual archivism of my artistic works.

Good Lord, but the suicide of David Foster Wallace makes me sad! Is there something about genius level artistic accomplishment that creates or is generally accompanied by crushing depression? Yes, I'm afraid there is, yes.

D) Neil Diamond's 3 CD box set In My Lifetime was at Half Price Books recently for about 13 bucks. Even though I already had The Essential, which has much of the same material, it is worth having. The original studio versions of the live stuff on Essential are so fascinating. I espeically like disc two. He is so genuine and sincere. I am learning to play "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother".

E) A free video at amazon for Bob Dylan's new old song "Dreamin' Of You" is really cool. Harry Dean Stanton is a character who is obsessed with Dylan as many are.

F) Two of my favorite albums of all time have just been reissued with Bonus Tracks: Billy Joel's The Stranger, which in the deluxe edition I will acquire shortly also includes a DVD of a 1977 television appearance.

Liz Phair's Exile in Guyville only includes three bonus tracks and since we are in a whatever-the-opposite-of-golden-is age of rematering (a.k.a. super-compressing) I may just have to check the Bonus Tracks at iTunes by themselves. Ah, I just checked and guess what? They are only available if you buy the whole album. Typical iTunes screw job.

G) Also started the 17 book Dave Robicheaux series from author James Lee Burke at the recommendation of one of my most trusted advisors. Private eye, tough life, beautiful woman, bad guys, etc. Yet with something more - literary, if I can use that word as praise.

This has been Culture Roundup with Memphis Evans.