In The Year 2021

Hello! Come in! Sit down. You're here to see which one, now? Oh, yes. Ah. Let me tell you a story from when she was only two years old - that's what parents do, isn't it? Hm.

So anyway, she ate a berry off a yew bush in the backyard. Not a big deal, as we found out from poison control, until you eat three or more, then you can get sick. Now I didn't have anything against that bush, but I knew that girl and I knew if she'd tried it once she was likely to try it again and maybe eat three or four or twenty of those little red berries. So I took pret' near every tool in the garage and went AFTER those bushes!

First I sawed off all their limbs with a saw and a pruning shears. It was a hot afternoon, but I didn't care. I was sweatin' and workin' and once I had most of the bush all sawed off I started HACKING away at the soil and the roots with a pitchfork and a shovel. It was rocky soil and I could only loosen it up, even with those tools, so I just had to get in there with my hands and rip those rocks out of there. I tore them out and just kept SMASHING and CUTTING with the pitchfork and the shovel blade.

Finally after my hands had gone all black and my nails were breaking and bleeding I grabbed what was left of that bush and I ROARED - I actually ROARED! - me, a sophisticated, modern guy, and I threw that mutilated root ball halfway across my yard as I finally wrenched it out of the earth. OH MY, but it felt good!

Whew! Like I said, I didn't have anything against those bushes, but once I realized they were a danger to my daughter they were in tiny pieces in the garbage can within twenty-four hours. Now I still got ALL those tools out in my garage and the question I wanna ask you, young man, is this: Are you a danger to my daughter?

A Brand New Song!

This is a totally new song I am very excited about. You can listen to it and download it for free.

It's Not About The Words

Clicking on the song's title above will take you to garageband.com, where I have an artist page. The page includes complete lyrics and exclusive song information. This is the best way I have found to give you, my friend, my music here on the internet. Enjoy!

-----------------------------------------------

I also had some communication with an old classmate about the essay I wrote about the Great Uncle Helmer CD old man will travel. I went through and tried to make all the verb tenses match, which they hadn't, and then added the communication to the end of the essay. Why not listen to your copy of old man will travel while you read this essay? Spend the evening with Karl and Me.

Read the essay here

or

Buy the album

And here's a tip: Don't pay more than $10. Good grief! Some people are trying to get $50-70 for this. Good luck.

This has been "new stuff", once a page at memphisevans.com, now a blog.

Some Promotional Thing

So this kind of might promote my song "Yeah, Hey, Alright, Rock and Roll, Whoo!" or it might not. But I'm curious to see what this link takes you to, so check it out with me if you wish.

Yeah, Hey, Alright, Rock and Roll, Whoo!

Or it might just promote myspace and toyota, two things I am increasingly indifferent about.

PostScript: Okay, that's actually kind of cool. If you haven't heard that song already, check it out. I've now posted it to facebook and myspace, as can you.

Fraud, Anyone?

Let's pretend you're a band. Now let's pretend you're a band that has some people in it who played the Minneapolis songs on Bob Dylan's Blood on the Tracks album. Now let's pretend you call yourself "Blood On The Tracks Live" and distribute flyers and merchandise with that name. Do you think people coming to see you play would expect you to play songs from any particular album? Any album at all?

Let me help you out here. If you call yourself "Blood On The Tracks Live" and make a big deal about having people in your band who played on the album "Blood On The Tracks" then people who come to see you are going to expect to hear songs from...wait for it...it's a Bob Dylan album...from the mid '70s...that some of you allegedly played on...it's in your band name...?

No? No idea? Okay, well then never mind. Fool me once shame on me, or you, or whatever that is.

Maybe they did "Buckets of Rain" as their third encore but I'll never know because I was done with them. Final question: Idiot Wind - Wind = ?

Update: July 17, 2009
Umm...nevermind. There was a front page article in the next local paper about how they played a final set with local hero Dan Israel singing a whole slew of Dylan tunes. I had left by then, but "Buckets of Rain" was indeed among the tunes.

Also, never, ever purchase or consume a Chelada. (Commercially available mix of Clamato (yum!) and Bud Light.) Yuck. And never pour it out on a napkin just to see what it looks like. You don't want to know what it looks like.

That Dude Deserves A Medal

So let's say there's this dude and he's been married about seven years or so, right? Right about the time the proverbial itch may be kicking in. And let's say this dude is in a rock band and that they're playing like 250 miles away from home. Then let's say both nights were totally dead until the last two sets of the second night, when the dance floor explodes. With me so far?

So then there show up these two women with no wedding rings on their hands let's say. Before the last set they start getting all up in the dude's space, rubbing his back and telling him he should smile more, loosen up, have fun, quit looking at his watch onstage, etc. Right? Are you picking up the vibe I'm trying to convey? It's not that hard.

So during the final set, when the dude knows he has pretty much guaranteed access to his own private hotel room that night should he so desire, these two women are staring at him, pointing at him when he smiles, and dancing with each other in a suggestive way. And let me note that these women are not skanky or unattractive. They look good is what I'm saying. Sweet even.

So end of set and this dude is sitting on the edge of the stage waiting to get paid, having loaded his stuff and that of his band into the truck. One of these women comes and sits right next to him, all touching her leg to his and so forth talking about how she often tries to help her friend get hooked up. That doesn't seem like it would be that hard, thinks the dude, but the dude doesn't say that because that might be suggestive. Then the cute friend herself comes and sits right behind the dude and is all making contact with his back and so forth. So what does that dude do?

That dude, with inspiration from the John Travolta/Vincent Vega speech into the bathroom mirror after the Jackrabbit Slim's dance contest, politely gets up and says "See you, uh...later" and walks out the door and drives away. Let me explain that that dude is not some shrinking violet who is afraid of the ladies. No, he is no stranger to such things and can vividly imagine what, if the vibe he is getting is right on, these two women want. See what happened here? See what I'm getting at?

That dude shrugs it off and drives straight home, through the night, to his wife and kids. And guess what? That dude deserves a medal, a cookie, and a day named after him. Damn.

New Straw Dogs Material

Hey, check this out. Readers will remember when I found an address for Rob van Vliet and sent, more or less, a fan letter conveying my fondness for "If This Is Crazy" and "Clown Car" from the Larson Coffeehouse tape on which I also appeared and asking whether he'd recorded anything else. He set up a download site for a sampler of his material and now has added more.

Three Free Albums!

Good stuff. Here is a quote from Rob:

Jason says that if you link to our music download page from your blog, he would appreciate if you call attention to the lo-fi nature of these recordings (something I've already done on the download page, but it's a caveat worth repeating, I think).

Done. That's never bothered me much.

Fun Show in the Rain

Around 1:45 this afternoon I loaded up my car with PA and drums and drove to Grantsburg, WI. I got there with over an hour to spare, so walked around "downtown", which was nearby and somewhat deserted, and meditated on a bench facing Memory Lake, which was where we were playing, inspiring and beautiful. Karl and Bill showed up a little before 5 and we set up as Pete arrived, then Andy. We had quite a big crowd, maybe 70 people on lawn chairs. We were at the edge of a picnic pavilion facing out.

The crowd bought food and ate. I think the money went to a charity maybe. We played well for several songs then it started to absolutely pour. We lost much of the crowd, but the pavilion became immediately packed with people. I was then sitting at a picnic bench facing away from them, as was Bill. Karl, Andy, and Pete turned around to face them. It was an interesting way to continue the show.

We didn't play our entire set, which was fine. Karl picked the songs for the most part, and we skipped "Gone To Stay", "Devil", and "Muddy Water", which made sense as I was facing away from the crowd. Also, my throat was a little sore. We did do "The Day", which showcases my vocals and got a big positive reaction. "Total Peace" and its extended electric banjo solo drew much deserved post-solo clapping from the attentive crowd. That's always cool. We wrapped up with "Into The West", which now features a swooping bass riff I love to just sit still and listen to.

The people that stayed around in the rain had a lot of fun and we did too. Thanks to the organizers of Grantsburg's music in the park series and thanks to my bandmates and all who came to listen.

Ten Bands You Have All Their Albums Of (Part 2)

Recently added to the list:
ROQUE
Flip Nasty
El Squeako

and as soon as I get Suck Pumpkin:
Splat Monkey

Make sense? Good. It's good stuff and you should have it, too.
Go check it out.

Thank you Cody!