Modern Things. Bah!

I recently watched this video.

It's fine, right? No problem. It does the job it's supposed to do, which is keep a baby's attention and teach them some signs. For me personally, though, after about as many seconds as I am years old, I started trying to figure out whether the sound of the waves synced up with the actual waves because it doesn't seem like that pristine audio could possibly have been recorded on a windy beach. The rigid, repetitive, perfect sameness of the whole thing started driving me nuts. See what I mean?

Now I'm no audio engineer, but I am pretty sure she's lip syncing. She's doing it really well, which made me think there was probably a click track playing over speakers with the vocal when they shot the video at the beach. So what a baby is actually watching is a person lip syncing to a click track, probably some keyboards, and the vocal, all pre-recorded. An impossible illusion.

Later on, in post-production, my guess is they took out the sounds of everything except the vocal. Then they added in some quiet background waves. Well, fine, we just want the best end product, right? Just using modern tools. Nothing wrong with that, right?

Except that everything new is like this now. Everything is this digitally enhanced illusion of perfection. Long before this particular video was even over, I started thinking what it would look like if it had been taped for Sesame Street in 1974.

Susan's hair would be blowing around, her pitch would be wavering. She might crack up a little bit. You would hear the actual waves as they broke. She would be singing loud to be heard over the wind and those waves. It would be a real, one-of-a-kind, human performance. Factors beyond the control of the producers would have an impact on the final product. Watching her, you would think it was something you could do yourself. You would be right.

But back to 2013 (sigh). Every professional piece of video and audio that young people watch and hear now has this layer of digital illusion built in. They grow up in an acid bath of impossible, inhuman, auto-tuned perfection. And anything that hasn't been perfected by auto-tune is ridiculed. You're Star Wars Kid. You're William Hung. Ha Ha!

I wonder what cumulative impact this has on younger, more impressionable people than myself. Might they think, "Oh, I could never sing like that."? Because if they did think that, they would be right. But what if they stop trying?

A Timetable For Withdrawal

September 2008: Out of cars
October 2008: Not while awake
November 2008: Not during daytime naps
December 2008: Not during night time (completely gone)

Our children, Child, almost 3, and Toddler, 1, use pacifiers. Pacifiers help them control their emotions during the day and help them get to sleep at night. However, we recently learned from the dentist that the pacifiers are also damaging their teeth. Therefore, our children must learn to live without them.

It wouldn't be fair to completely take away the pacifiers immediately because our children are not ready for that. But we can't let their pacifier use drag on indefinitely with no end in sight because of the damage the pacifiers are doing to their teeth. What if they were five years old and still using pacifiers? How embarassing! I would be a terrible parent if I allowed such a situation! So I have set up a timetable for the complete withdrawal of the pacifiers and, subsequently, the children's freedom and independence from them.

By the end of September 2008 we will have no pacifier use in cars. This is a pretty ingrained habit, but I have already taken them out of my car without too much complaining. I've even found the children more talkative, articulate and enjoyable during car rides. So the first phase of the withdrawal is actually having unforeseen positive effects.

By the end of October, 2008 there will be no pacifier use during waking hours. I'm sure that Child is ready for this, but it might be tough on Toddler. However, the ongiong damage to Toddler's teeth is unacceptable and so Toddler must find a way to get along without pacifiers. Both children will still get a pacifier at naptime and night time.

By the end of November, 2008 there will be no pacifier use during naptime. This, strangely enough, might be tough on me, the provider of the pacifiers. I have come to rely on these quiet, restful hours to either nap myself or get things done (like writing this, for example). I think the children will be okay, although they will probably demand their pacifiers vociferously at first. Then they will get used to napping without them and be better for it.

By the end of December 2008, the end of the year, pacifiers will be completely out of our house. The last step will be no pacifier use at night. This will be tough for everone to accept and I imagine there will be a fair amount of screaming while the children adjust to their newfound freedom and independence from pacifiers.

Still, because of the damage being done, we must end the use of pacifiers. We can not do it all at once or everyone's emotional health would be in jeopardy. However, we must do it in a timely fashion with a definite end in sight. Therefore, with love for all and in everyone's best interests, I have created a concrete timetable for the withdrawal of pacifiers that will be strictly enforced. It's simple, it's logical, and it's the right thing to do for everyone involved.

Yes, I'm talking about children and pacifiers, why do you ask? What else would I be talking about?

New Stuff at the Main Site, Etc.

I have posted a poem called To Dress A Child.

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I am considering writing essays about two different things. One is "so-called predatory lending" and two is "(I can't think of it right now because I am sleep deprived)". Is anyone interested in predatory lending or (that other thing)?

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So twitter. Here's the thing. If I'm doing something outside the house, I don't want potentially predatory people on the internet to know I'm away from the house. If I'm doing something in my house, well, that's not interesting, is it? And finally, if I AM doing something interesting why would I stop to twitter about it? From this time on, all my twitters will be on a time delay.

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I am going to compile an iTunes CD of mellow, catchy stuff like "Precious and Few" and "Longer". I am pretty sure I will love it.

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Just saw this on yahoo news. Think of how much time has been wasted because of these guys. How many hours? How many hours make up a life? Figure 75 years x 365 days x 24 hours = (trying to find the calculator on my computer...) 65,700 hours in a typical life.

So have 65,700 people been made to wait an hour (or more) as they ridiculously discarded their toothpaste, shampoo, water, etc.? How about all the wasted products (like my toothpaste once was before a flight) and the hours spent creating and disposing of them? Yeah, I think we're up to every single hour of all three of these punks' lives. So. Send them to the mines. With no pay. Until they die. They owe the world that much.

(Are there still mines that are worked by humans? I suppose there are. Diamond mines? Coal mines? I don't even know.)