Reading This Will Add Hours To Your Life

I am going to free up several hours for you right here. Want to write that novel? Always wanted to play the guitar? Here is your opportunity. Ready?

Complete summary of DVD commentary and bonus featurettes (all films):

Everybody who worked on this project was so great. I was so lucky to get this opportunity. From the crew to the cast to the director everyone was really fantastic and it was magical and we are all so super fantastic we can hardly stand it. On some films it's just work but this cast and crew really bonded and became a family. Oh, and our special effects were revolutionary and yet you don't even notice them, since they're not special effects for their own sake. They're just part of the vision for the story, which was written, directed, acted, filmed, and edited by geniuses working very hard out of love for the work.

There! Now you never again need torture yourself with what is, essentially, a side effect of the technological advancement allowing studios to put a whole bunch of extra stuff with a movie when people watch it at home. Like Jeff Goldblum's Dr. Malcolm Something said so dramatically in Jurassic Park, "they only thought about whether they could and didn't stop to think about whether they should." These documentaries never existed when video stores walked the Earth, you don't see them in the theater, and now they needn't burden us any further at home. You're welcome. (I have to admit, though, that I like deleted scenes.)

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Also, of course, you can let your tv go dead next February. What will YOU do with the extra 2 hours a day, Average American?

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On a different topic, my birthday is coming up and I have just seen the terrific movie Across The Universe. (Oh, wait, that's not totally unrelated is it?) Anyway, long story short there was only one version of the soundtrack released that actually had all the songs from the movie. I thought it was a Best Buy exclusive and so went to Best Buy, whose clueless clerks knew less about it than I. But eBay had it. But it's like $45 including shipping. But my birthday is coming up.

If you are a person who was considering getting me a birthday present yet have not already done so, this would be the crowning achievement of your history as a birthday present giver. Beware the 29 track edition! And don't worry. If I get two I will just sell one on eBay for even more than $45.